Scary pregnancy :)

I had multiple times in my pregnancy when I would just have bleeding, it would freak me out, and I got checked everytime. They decided that it was unexplained and we would probably find out after delivery what the issue was.
My doctor, Jason and I sat down at one of my appointments and went over many issues and decided that because of the bleeding it would be too risky to deliver vaginally. He was almost 100% that I would end up in section anyhow depending on the determination of the mystery bleeding.
I had my section on 4/22 after my blood pressure remained at an unsafe level. During my section I heard my dr talking to the other about all this stuff and I didn't know what they were talking about. So the dr came in to visit me about an hour after my section to let me know what was up. He explained to me that my placenta was bilobed and I had a condition called Vasa Previa. Its hard to explain so here is a little cut and paste on it.
"Vasa previa is a rarely (1:2500) reported condition in which fetal blood vessel(s) from the placenta or umbilical cord crosses the entrance to the birth canal, beneath the baby. The condition has a high fetal mortality rate (50-95%). This can be attributed to rapid fetal exsanguination resulting from the vessels tearing when the cervix dilates, membranes rupture or if the vessels become pinched off as they are compressed between the baby and the walls of the birth canal. When vasa previa is diagnosed, elective delivery by cesarean before labor begins can save the baby's life. Ideally, it should be performed early enough to avoid an emergency, but late enough to avoid problems associated with prematurity. The IVPF recommends hospitalization in the 3rd trimester, delivery by 35 weeks, and immediate blood transfusion of the infant in the event of a rupture."
So in hearing him tell me that if we had not done the section when we did, either or both of us wouldn't have survived delivery. Normaly when this is diagnosed early enough a section is performed at 35 wks, mine was at 36wks. Had I continued to beg him to let me deliver vaginally the results would have been very bad.
But anyhow, we both survived delivery. I ended up staying an extra night in the hospital because my BP spiked and I had to be given IV meds to get it down. They got it down to the 140/90 range and decided that was good enough to go home.
I was home one day and slept that night. The next morning I felt like crap, hey I just had a baby so I figured it was normal. After sleeping all day without being able to get up I forced myself up and took a shower. After my shower I sat in the bathroom for almost 30mins trying to catch my breath. I have a history of asthma so I figured that was it. I did a nebulizer and it didn't help. Jason was getting ready to go do some shopping and I didn't want to bother him so I let him leave. Within a few minutes luckily he came back as he forgot something and noticed something was really wrong with me. I didn't want to go to the ER so he took me to the walk-in clinic. It was about 3pm at this point and they told me that the wait was till about 8pm. So we sat in the waiting room for about 20 minutes and I just wanted to go home and sleep. So we left, Jason brought me to the ER against my will saying that he just wanted to make sure I was ok. I got to the ER and checked in, within 2 minutes they called my name to be assesed.
The nurse asked me a ton of questions, I told her I was short of breath and just felt tired. She was sending me back to sit in the waiting room when I offered that I just had a section and wanted to let her know even though it may not be relevant. Her face went white, I swear to god!! She yelled for a wheelchair and a Dr. They rushed me into a room and about 5 people rushed in. One person was giving me an IV, the other was giving me oxygen, another was taking my blood, and another was giving me a shot. I was sent for a cat scan, which was hard because everytime I tried to lay flat I couldn't breathe.
Fast forward. I had a pulomonary embolism and super high BP. They were pumping me full of heparin and nitro and BP meds. I was immediately sent to the ICU. While in the ICU I had so many other tests. It took them 2 full days on high risk IV meds to get my BP down to 140/90's range. They determined that I had a leaking Mitro valve, congestive heart failure and cardio myopathy. My heart couldn't keep up with all the fluid I had and was failing. So they decided to pump me full of diuretics to get the fluid out. They had to give me shots of this stuff now and then to slow my heart down because it was beating so fast it was about to give out, now I forget the word they used.
So yeah, after 4 days in ICU and another 3 in maternity, 3 near death experiences, 60 pounds of pee, not being able to see Nora for 4 full days, I lived.
If I ever decide to have another child, I will probably shoot myself, because all of this has a high chance of happening again. The previa most likely will come back, and so will the Pre-E. The only difference is that I will stay in the hospital till it all goes away instead of going home for a day.
I do have a beautiful daughter out of all of this, and we both lived :)

I am happy.

I would write about what happened the 4 days I was in ICU and the 3 days I spent back up in the maternity ward, but I'm not reliving that again. I'm home, with my husband and daughter. I swear I'm happy. I look at her and tell myself that it was all worth it. I'm sick of people asking me if I'm doing better or if I feel depressed. I'm effin tired, I've been through a lot. Yeah it was rough, especially when I couldn't see her for 4 days. But I'm happy, not depressed. I'm super tired everyday, but not depressed. Jason does more then I could ever ask of him. He has been letting me sleep through the night while he feeds and changes Nora. I don't ask, and he insists that I get some sleep. I'm not sure where I am even going with this, but I am happy. I may not look it or act it at times, but I am. Really.

ER Fun

So its been 2 1/2 weeks since Nora was born. I spent 4 nights in the hospital after her birth. They made me stay an extra night because my blood pressure was too high. They finally got it to come down and sent me home on Sunday. The first night home was surreal. She was so good for us. We woke her up to feed her and change her throughout the night. The next morning I was really tired so Jason let me sleep. I told him not to let me sleep long. He came in every hour and I told him I was still tired and needed a little more sleep. I finally forced myself to get out of bed at 3pm. I went in the bathroom to take a shower to try and wake myself up. For some reason I couldn't breathe. When I washed my face I couldn't hold my breath to rinse it under the water. Something was going on. I decided I was having a flare up with my asthma and did a nebulizer treatment. It didn't help. I decided that maybe I would go to the urgent care center and see if they could give me a stronger treatment. I arrived to a full waiting room, they told me it would be at least a 3-4 hour wait. I sat down. So there I waited for almost an hour while gasping for breath. I couldn't take it anymore and decided to go home and see my doctor in the morning. Jason wanted me to go to the ER and at least be assessed before I went home just in case. I argued for while but finally decided to go. The ER waiting room was packed. I told him that I would be looked at but if there was a long wait I was going home, I was too tired. So I filled out the paperwork and wrote "shortness of breath" as my reason for the visit. I waited around 15 minutes and was called into triage to be assessed. I told the nurse that I was very tired and having some shortness of breath. She took my vitals and of course my BP was high, duh. She asked me a million questions and checked out my awesome swelling. She was just about to send me back to the waiting room when I decided to let her know that I just had a c-section a few days ago. The look on her face changed dramatically and she asked me a few more questions. Then she called someone else in and brought a wheelchair. I let her know that I could walk but they wouldn't let me. Within moments of arriving in my room, there were 3 doctors around me and a few more nurses. I was simultaneously getting an IV, EKG, hooked up to a heart monitor and being given oxygen. The doctors were going nuts over me and telling me that x-ray was on the way and that I would go for a cat scan right after. Oh and during all of this they were also drawing my blood. I finally spoke up and asked what the heck was going on and why was everyone freaking out, I was just having some asthma. They let me know that my lungs were probably filling with fluid and I had a possible pulmonary embolism. Oh cool, thats not good. They did my xray and off to cat scan I went. I lied down to get the cat scan and immediately couldn't breathe, what the hell was going on?? They propped me up as best as they could and continued with the scan. Moments later I was back in the room and 3 doctors greeted me with results. Yep, my lungs were filling with fluid and I had some blood clots forming. I was getting shots of heparin to thin my blood and lasix to help get some of the fluid out of me. Apparently because I retained so much fluid in my pregnancy, it had nowhere else to go but my lungs. Awesome.

Nora's Birthday

Really. Wednesday April 22, 2009 I went in for my doctors appointment, knowing that if my blood pressure was still high I would be delivering my daughter that day. Of course it was still high, so I was sent to get ready for my c-section. Why wasn't I going to deliver naturally?? The unexplained bleeding I was having throughout and the high BP made it too much of a risk to induce me, there were too many things that could go wrong. So surgery it had to be. I think the scariest walk I've ever done was the 100 or so feet from my hospital room to the operating room. So many things were going through my mind. Would everything be ok? Would my daughter be ok? Roughly 15 minutes after I entered the operating room, Jason was allowed to come in and sit next to me. The surgery was fine, I remember seeing Nora for the first time before she was taken away to the awaiting preemie team. I heard her cry, I cried, that meant that she was breathing. Then the nurse came over to me and said probably the scariest thing I've heard so far, "We need to take her to the nursery, she is having trouble breathing." So there I was, stuck on the operating table, helpless to go with my daughter. I told Jason to go with her. The operation was finished in around 40 more minutes. Then I was returned to my room, alone. The nurse stayed with me to make sure I was ok. I lied there, alone, for an eternity. The eternity was only an hour. They brought my little girl in to finally see me. I still couldn't feel anything from my chest down, but my arms worked and I could hold her a little. She was beautiful. She was ok.

Roller Coaster

So I'm not usually one to complain. I mean, what do I really have to complain about? I am technically healthy, and I'm very happy with my life. So what the heck is bugging me? I am 36 weeks pregnant and diagnosed with pre-eclampsia. I can't wear shoes, and it hurts to walk sometimes because the swelling is so bad. I get constant headaches and nausea from my blood pressure being so high, and this awesome pain in my ribs. Every time I see my doctor he tells me, "You won't be pregnant much longer." Yeah, I've been hearing that for about 2 weeks now. I was admitted to the hospital last week for three days because my issues were getting worse. So my doctor scheduled me for a c-section on Tuesday 4/21. I was nervous because I was going to be 36 weeks along and there could be issues. But I was excited to hold my little girl and have my body start returning to normal. Then on Friday my doctor told me that I hadn't gotten bad enough to need to continue with the plan. Which is good news, I swear. But I saw the end, I could start getting better, I could hold my little princess. The end was ripped away from me once again. I have to accept it and move forward. I've gone this long right? So now unless I get worse, I will be having my little girl on 5/14, my originally scheduled due date. I have to see my doctor 3-5 times a week, depending on how I feel for blood pressure and lab checks to make sure I'm not getting any worse. I don't know how I've been doing it, but I have been trying to see the bright side in all of this despite how I feel sometimes. It has truly been an emotional roller coaster, and she isn't even here yet.

Is there really a sweet life? If that's what it's really called, then I have truly found it.

Try it

Thought I would give this a try! More to come!